


See Through Me

by IceBlueRose



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-03
Updated: 2011-04-03
Packaged: 2017-10-17 13:36:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/177385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceBlueRose/pseuds/IceBlueRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kris started losing his appetite when he was in high school.</p>
            </blockquote>





	See Through Me

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Eating disorder - anorexia
> 
> I started this for stori_telling on LJ and I'm going to hopefully get the rest of it posted later tonight. This is based off the Lifetime movie, For the Love of Nancy. Hopefully this works - I did some research on men having anorexia and, yes, it really can take up to six years to discover it in a man because it's usually mistaken for depression.

Kris started losing his appetite when he was in high school. One day, he could eat five slices of pizza with no trouble and then over the course of a couple of weeks, he slowly ate less until he was barely able to finish one slice.

“Are you okay, honey?” his mom asked.

“I’m fine. Just not hungry, Momma.”

She had tried a few more times to get him to eat, to make sure he was okay, before she’d taken him to a doctor. He’d been diagnosed with a mild case of depression and given some medication. He slowly began eating regularly again and then he moved and began taking classes at a college not too far from where he’d lived before.

That’s when things began to change again.

 

~*~*~

 

“Here,” Adam said, putting a bowl of ice cream down. “You can help me eat this.”

Kris glanced up and gave him a small smile, shaking his head. “Why do you insist on buying ice cream when you never want to eat the whole thing?”

“Because, unlike you, some of us need to watch our weight.” Adam let his eyes move over Kris. “Seriously, I think you might actually need to gain weight.”

Kris rolled his eyes. He’d heard this plenty of times over the last few years and he really didn’t see what the big deal was. So he didn’t eat a lot. Who cared?

“I do not,” he muttered. He eyed the bowl of ice cream and fought to keep from wrinkling his nose. The thought of eating it was enough to have him shaking his head again. “And I don’t want any ice cream.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “I swear, how I became best friends with someone who refuses ice cream is a mystery to me.”

“Just lucky, I guess.” Kris laughed and looked back down at his book, highlighting one last sentence before he shut it and reached for the next one.

“Kris, put the book away. You study too much.”

Kris raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me, Mr. Photographic Memory. Some of us have to actually study the material instead of just reading it once.”

“I’m fabulous like that.”

He snorted and opened his music notebook, looking over the notes he’d taken. Finals were coming up and he desperately needed to get good grades on his tests. He was doing good in all of his classes and he wanted to make sure he kept it that way.

Adam only lasted a few more minutes before he sighed. “Kris, come on. Study later.” He leaned over and wrapped an arm around Kris, settling his chin on Kris’s shoulder. “Let’s do something.”

Ignoring the twinge in his stomach, Kris turned his head slightly and grinned. “Like?”

Adam thought about it and paused. “I have no idea.”

Kris rolled his eyes and shut his notebook, fighting the urge to yawn. “Come on, genius. Let’s go find you something to keep you entertained.”

 

~*~*~

 

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into watching this movie,” Kris muttered as he looked up at Adam from his spot next to him on the bed.

“This is a classic.”

“It’s only been out a few years.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that _Center Stage_ is a classic,” Adam insisted as he leaned back on the bed, one arm around Kris’s shoulders. Kris’s lips twitched as he settled against Adam’s side.

“They’ve already made a sequel.”

Adam brightened. “I know. I want to see it so I can mock it for not being as great as the first one.”

“And secretly, you’ll love it.”

“Well, yeah, of course I will, Kristopher.” Adam poked Kris in the shoulder and let out a huff. “Obviously. Hey, you want some chips? They’re barbeque.”

“Nope. Not hungry.”

“Your loss.” Adam aimed the remote at the TV and pressed play.

Kris didn’t reply as the movie started. He laughed at Adam’s running commentary and then paused as he noticed Adam getting quieter as the movie went on. He glanced up to see a slight frown on Adam’s face as he watched the TV. Kris’s eyebrows drew together and he shifted, blinking rapidly to stay awake, causing Adam’s arm to tighten around him.

There was a small smile on Adam’s face when the movie ended and he stretched, glancing over at Kris as he did so.

“See, a classic,” he told him. Kris tilted his head, noticing something slightly off about Adam’s voice.

“You okay?”

Adam looked surprised for a moment before he stared at Kris as if studying him. “Yeah. It’s just...you’d tell me if something was wrong, right? Especially if it was big?”

Kris blinked at him, surprised. “Yeah, Adam. I’d tell you.”

His stare intense, Adam put a hand on Kris’s arm and squeezed. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

Adam stared at him for a bit longer before he nodded. “Okay.”

 

~*~*~

 

“You feeling okay, sweetie?”

Kris fought back the urge to sigh. It always started like this. His mom would start asking him if he was okay and wondering if he was having any problems at school. It never failed.

“I’m fine, Mom. Really.”

She studied him. “You’re eating okay? No depression?”

This time he gave into the urge and sighed. “No.”

Behind his mom, Daniel raised his eyebrows at him and Kris waited until his mom had looked away to make a face at him. He was fine. He was just tired.

It was annoying that his family started getting freaked out whenever he said he wasn’t hungry. That had been over five years ago and he’d admit that he didn’t eat as much as he had back then but that didn’t mean there was something wrong with him. After all, he’d eaten breakfast just that morning.

“So how come you look like I could bench press you?” Daniel asked as soon as their mom had moved out of earshot.

Kris frowned at him. “You could not.”

“I probably could if I tried. You look like you’ve lost weight again.”

He groaned. “Seriously, are you okay? Because if you need to go see Dr. Wright, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Daniel, I’m doing okay. Really. Classes are over and I’m doing good.” He shrugged. “The most stressful thing in my life is worrying about what my grades are.”

“In that case, you want to go with me? Going out for some burgers with the guys.”

Kris shook his head. “No, that’s okay. I’m not hungry.” Off of Daniel’s look, he rolled his eyes again. “Just because I’m not hungry doesn’t mean anything. I’m fine.” He turned to leave and paused when the room tilted.

“Kris?”

“Crap,” he whispered, blinking to clear his vision.

“Kris?” Daniel’s voice sounded far away and Kris vaguely wondered why that was. “Kris!”

It was the last thing he heard before everything went black.


End file.
